The Bath brush debacle of 1990

George and I had been married a few years. We had settled into a “dd ish” marriage,easy as pie.  He’d spanked me on our very first date, and it was just a natural part of who we were.   We had moved so he could be a fellow at a very busy ER.  I was in school too- but to be with my new husband I had transferred  in the 5th year of a 6 year degree. I missed my friends, I missed my family and George was working something like 85 hours a week.

For you younger people- there was a time when  you had to actually pay for your long distance calls…. Our phone bill had become, ahem- unwieldy….. (In retrospect, what I should have done is said something along the lines of”Honey, we have to figure something out, I’m lonely and I’m sad.”  I did not do anything like that…  I apologized profusely  and swore I would stop. I swore this with no intention of dong so. Something like 5 times…

So on what was the worst day George had ever had in his medical education(he had worked over a woman pregnant with twins who had been RUN OVER intentionally  by her husband and eventually had to call the code- all three of them died . Puts “shitty day at work” into a whole new perspective doesn’t it?  I  had received the phone bill that day… the $570 dollar phone bill.  I truly ahd every intention of coming clean, but I did know what his day had been like, and i thought i was being compassionate by waiting….  Which is why he came home that day and found it “hidden” in a drawer.

I was doing laundry in the basement… wearing one of those dresses that I swear were popular at the time- that were essentially a polo shirt that came down to mid- thigh.  I hadn’t heard him come home.  And then  he came thundering down the basement steps, bill in one hand the wooden bath brush in the other.

I dont think he said a word. He tucked me under his left arm and went to town with the bath brush.  In the ensuing years I have been spanked thousands of times, thousands(29 years x52 weeks let’s say an average of 5 times a week)  Never like that, before or since.  I do need to defend my George here- it was harsh, but it was also fast.l Its not as though he slowly watched me literally turning black and blue and kept punishing me.  We both new at this and he had no idea  jsut how much damage a bath brush on a24 ” handle can do when wielded by a livid 6’4″ former college athlete.It was over in probalby 3 minutes.  He was still furioujs, I was nearly hysterical.  He tossed the bath brush unto the dryer where it made a resounding clatter.  “I jsut came hoemj to change, I have to meet some people- you go to bed. Right now”

First I was heartbroken, i couldnt believe he would spank me like that na then leave.(that has never ever ever happened again- ) AS i lay i bed, throbbing and beginnign to hate the love of my life, I relaized jsut how bruised I was.  I had been told to go to bed, and on the one hand, defying him at that moemnt seemd bloody stupid.  But  I crept into the bathroom to get an eyeball assessment of the damage.  By our standards it was much too much.(it owuldnt bother other peopel at all- it bothered both of us)  I had something like 25 hard, raised bulls eye bruises, one of them, that was  on the baby skin of my inner thigh was so swollen it was beginning to ooze. I went to get ice.   He had turned aroudn and come home, so I was fillin a zip lock wiht ice when he came in.  He froze taking in the ice pack and my tear stained face.  I saw him swallow hard. “let me see,” he said gently.

I crossed my arms over my chest. “No. You left. You don’t get to see.”(I am not very smart)

“I shouldn’t have left. I’m really sorry.  Did I hurt you?”

I nodded and rushed to bury my face in hsi chest. He stoked my hair and calmed me down.”You have to let me look, sweetpea”


“the thing is. I think you are going to be really upset.”

“Is it that bad?”

I nodded glumly.   I turned around and lifted my dress.  It remains one of the very few times I have ever thought he might cry.(the death of his mother and our oldest son being hit by a car(he lived) being the other two) he was horrified and he kept apologizing.  I assured him it was all ok.  “You might want to consider writing me a prescription for vicodin, though”

I didn’t get a opiates  out of it, but we did end up recognizing our own limits(as a couple) and got a little better at loving each other in the unique way we do.

We still have the )*(^&^*)*)%$# bath brush. it has never been used quite liek that again.  It remains our “nuclear option” so I think its been utilized 5 other times in the three decades that we have been together.


1 Comment

  1. maisyarcher
    Jul 9, 2016

    Love this story!! And that you still have that bath brush! I’m picturing it in a case on the wall with a sign that says “In Case Of Supreme Misbehavior, Break Glass!” 🙂

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